To dye or not to dye: It's a grey area

-- ST FILE PHOTO

To dye the silver streaks away or 'colour' them with self confidence? To banish the irksome crow's feet or line them with acceptance?

These may seem trivial questions and one would be loath to discuss them publicly but the vicissitudes of age make them inescapable.

Naturally, they are not confined to the fairer sex - although women may dread the grey zone more, no thanks to Hollywood. Think Richard Gere versus Cruella de Vil.

If getting rid of one's bald patch could be done in a jiffy, minus a cumbersome, costly and humbling scalp-kneading ritual, it wouldn't be a 'should I?' matter for men as much as 'Finally, when can I start?'

In her candid and witty book Going Gray, former American TV executive Anne Kreamer, who decided to allow her hair to grow out, likens the grey wars to the mummy wars of the 1980s and 1990s, when working mothers were up against the stay-at-homes.

Ms Kreamer posted two photographs separately on an Internet dating site - one with silver and the other with brown hair.

More 'suitors' lined up after her grey locks. Cynics may scoff at this notion but perhaps men are more drawn to authenticity - a woman comfortable in her 'real' self makes a far more rewarding companion - which, of course, is not solely benchmarked on how one wears her mane.

Which brings me to my point: You need to be comfortable with how you look if you're going to exude confidence in your workplace. In other words, a perfect melding of maturity and gravitas, a standout mix in competitive times.

First impressions count too, of course.

Mid-lifers can seek solace in the words of Mr Josh Goh, recruitment firm GMP Group's assistant director of corporate services: 'Good presentation does not equate with looking young, which can be a disadvantage, as people tend to perceive young people as being inexperienced.'

Energy and attitude are important, he says.

If cropping off your long tresses, colouring your hair fiery red, camouflaging your grey or making forthnightly visits to the dermatologist helps you feel better about yourself, which translates to a confident executive at work, then why not?

Domain knowledge, a rich track record of achievements, high levels of empathy and excellent teamship carry a premium, says Mr Maneesh Sah, marketing director of Towers Watson Singapore and South-east Asia.

These have little to do with a physical makeover but are intensely individual choices led by wide-ranging factors, none right nor wrong.

And on some level, they may be no different from other stylistic choices we make make every single day which may be an outward display of how we feel inside.

'An employer is more concerned with how well you are able to perform your role,' says Mr Chris Mead, regional director of recruitment firm Hays.

If the non-conventional, age-embracing way suits you, go for it.

You can wear grey like it's black. But you can also wear black like it's drab. Whatever your choices, embrace them - gracefully.