Do you love your neighbour as you would yourself? When struck by a backstabber, would you turn the other butt cheek – sorry, I mean cheek - too? Discover where you stand from our Mean (not average) Index and see if you’re an angel or fiend at work. Ouch, sometimes the truth hurts.

 

 

1. Are you an “Incredible Hulk”?

A. Do you swear freely and openly at work, with words that address your aggravator’s father or mother, as if the office is owned by your father or mother?

B. Can you beat a wailing toddler to an “I-don’t-care-I-want-that-toy” shock & roll feat if a mall were to hold such a competition?

C. Ice cream is not your favourite dessert; “I Scream” is. (Your colleague prefers “I   Scram”.)

D. All of the above

2. Are you a “Siam-er”?

A. Do you have a Grade A antenna that works better than those needed to stream live World Cup footages from Malaysia/Indonesia when it comes to detecting work signals?

B. Is taichi your favourite sport?

C. Do you often get praises for being selfless at work? (It’s not me, it’s him.)

D. All of the above

3. Are you a “Gossipmonger/Kaypoh”?

A. Does small talk excite you more than an X-rated – oops, I mean X-men - film?

B. Are people attracted to you (and look you up for the latest news), as are women to Tiger Woods, Wayne Rooney and the likes?

C. When it comes to appraisals, do you include “uncovering the CEO’s scandal” as part of your contribution to the company’s growth, albeit a negative one?

D. All of the above

4. Are you a “Pessimist”?

A. There’s no point in saying something, shit happens.

B. There’s no point in doing everything, shit happens.

C. There’s no point in salvaging anything, shit happens.

D. Oh, go get some toilet paper already!

5. Are you a “Loud-hailer”?

A. Do you think nothing of letting the whole office know that you’re missing your monthly girlfriend while on the phone with your boyfriend?

B. Do you imagine yourself to be a slurp-happy Japanese when ingesting your fishball noodles at your desk?

C. Are you fond of sharing your sighs, burps, farts, moans and groans – let’s just stop at these – with your peeved neighbours in spite of their pleas for peace?

D. All of the above

6. Are you a “Geng-er”?

A. 9.15-10am: coffee break; please try again shortly.

B. 10.30-11.15pm: tea break; please try again later.

C. Other timings in between: pee breaks; please keep trying.

D. After lunch: on urgent leave and MC; please stop trying.

7. Are you a “Smart Alec”?

A. I knew the boss would say no. (See, I told you so.)

B. Didn’t I say it won’t work before? (You should have listened to me.)

C. You always enjoy a schadenfreude moment. (You mean you don’t know what this word means? How can?)

D. All of the above

8. Are you a “Bootlicker”?

A. You know your boss likes her organic, decaffeinated tea from Darjeeling tea estate prepared with 1.75 tablespoons of brown sugar and 2.13 ml of milk served at 78.4 degree Celsius in an English-Victorian style teacup complete with peach-pink rose motifs at 9.02am daily except Fridays (her detox day).

B. You start a “Hail Hitler” fan page on Facebook to support your supervisor’s decision to gas the rest – er, I mean put to rest - your colleagues’ request for a pantry.  

C. You have a fetish for footwear.

D. All of the above.

9. Are you a “Backstabber/Hypocrite”?

A. You actually respond when your colleagues call you Jekyll or Hyde from the back.

B. You’re a closet light saber collector/Darth Vader wannabe.

C. You are keen learner of the Sichuan Face Changing art form and have the pleasure of flaunting the act at work.

D. All of the above.

10. Are you a “Complainer”?

A. Why am I not promoted? (Whiner!)

B. Why am I promoted but have no pay increment of 100%? (Greed!)

C. Why am I not promoted but have a pay increment of 200%? (Duh!)

D. All of the above.

If the answers to most of your responses are in the A-C range, you’re fairly okay (hey, no one’s perfect)! If you’ve picked mostly Ds, then may the Kim Jong-il nuclear force be with you. You’re probably better off with a bad perm than being typecast as the bad germ.

Okay, before we call it a day, here’s a shameless plug for all Geng-ers out there to share this with your friends for a good laugh while pretending to be hard at work. Hypocrites, don’t boo.