So, you have a terrible boss and want to break free from his clutches. You book an air ticket to Bangkok to get away from it all. But Murphy's Law will have you realise that the Thais actually have a worse boss than you (or so it seems) and that the capital is in fact, the very place you should get away from, as throngs of angry protesters create chaos on the streets hurling more than just shoes at anyone and anything remotely related to their leader(s).
However, you don't give up. What's a small setback like this? You ask. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but shoes - surely, they can never hurt (too much)? So, you decide to escape the clutches of your boss once again by ignoring him and immersing yourself in cyberspace while at work. Bad move. While you need 1,000 boot-flinging clicks to crack his virtual skull, it only takes his one mudslinging shtick to give you the boot.
Then what's an employee to do when there's nothing else to look forward to in (working) life? Well, my dears, dry your tears and address your fears by checking out the following list of loathsome boss types, and try at all costs to avoid them!
Detestable bosses - the 5Cs :
1. Change of tune
Bosses who change their minds faster than you have time to mutter "what the..." under your breath. Think you've got it bad working for a dinosaur who never moves with the times? Just wait till you have to take instructions from a deranged one who grew up thinking he's a switch that can be turned on. And off. And on. And, oh what the...
2. Change of treatment
Bosses who are biased and don't play fair. It's bad enough to have to deal with a superior who doesn't recognise your work or appreciate your efforts, it's worse if he chooses to do so, for whatever reasons. You may have stepped on his toes before (you really shouldn't have chosen a urinal right next to his!) or incurred his wrath when you laughed like a hyena (not to mention even shat a little in your pants) whenever he adds a 'h' to words starting with 's' (such as "you can s(h)it here"). Whatever it is, he's decided to take it to heart. Chill and try not to take it too hard!
3. Change of topic
Bosses who are all talk and no action. This may be due to the fact that they are incompetent, hence the need to cover up with lots of hot air. So, they go round in circles as would a Bollywood star circumnavigate a coconut tree and send you on a wild goose chase with their seemingly intelligent spiels. At the end of it all, you are either too concussed to counteract, too confused to challenge, or... too convinced to contest. Boy, are we confounding!
4. Change of mood
Bosses whose temper takes a life of its own. While US President Barack Obama will have you believe that a change will do you good, I'm sure he'd stop at advocating frequent mood swings. These people are scary. They can be throwing their weight around like a draconian tyrant one minute, and behaving like a wailing child who just wants things done. Whilst you are tempted to rip his heart, you would never be able to read his heart. So take heart, my friend.
5. Control freak
Bosses who find pleasure in giving you pressure - all the time. These people want to know when and how you got that sales figure, from whom and where, what you did to get it and why you've only brought in $10,000 and not $100,000. They need to know whether you have slept with the client to clinch that deal (if so, was it during office hours? - how dare you sleep on the job!); they have to know who that person is (just to make sure she's not his daughter or wife!); they must know if you've done the deed at an exquisite setup (just to make sure expenses filed will not be claimable). That's not all! They also need information on your figure, her figure... Go figure.
So how should one deal with such monsters? If you're a pessimist, you could change your job. If you are an optimist, you could attempt to change yourself. If you are a natural born fighter, you could try to change your boss. If you are indifferent, you could just conform and not change anything at all!
Easy, isn't it? With these in mind, you can now breeze through your daily routine. As for me, I've spent enough time here and should be getting back to work as I've a very important deadline to meet - 28 more clicks to go and I'd hit the 1,000-clicks boot-flinging jackpot. Wish me luck.