Self-esteem and self-confidence are both products of the same “mother”, as they refer to a person’s sense of well-being.

While self-esteem is related to an individual’s evaluation of his own worth, self-confidence has more to do with an individual’s belief in his personal capacity to respond to life’s challenges.

Learn from mistakes

People with high self-esteem and self-confidence tend to be more accepting of mistakes.

They do not see every mistake as something negative but, instead, view some mistakes as opportunities to acquire experience.

They would agree with the tongue-in-cheek motto: “I’ve learnt the right way NOT to do this task.”

If you need to boost your self-esteem and self-confidence, you can learn how to adopt a similar attitude.

 To do this, try to see mistakes as a way to grow, a form of excitement for a new acquired level of knowledge.

Do not focus on the possibility of doing something wrong. Instead, accept making mistakes as part and parcel of being human. After all, no one is perfect.

To become stronger, you need to become weaker. While this may at first sound like a paradox, what I really mean is that if you want to grow your confidence levels, you need first to accept yourself for what you are — strengths as well as weaknesses.

One of my students once asked: “But there are things about me that I don’t like. How can I accept myself?”

This is a good question. Often, the first step to accepting yourself for what you are is being aware of what you may not like about yourself.

However, just being aware does not necessarily make a person more confident.

Many people have read self-help books, attended seminars and received hours of personal coaching — and yet they are not confident. Why is this so?

This is where self-responsibility comes in. A person who wishes to build more confidence and self-esteem needs to accept full responsibility for the results he has produced in life.

Boost your self-responsibility

Here are some tips on how you can boost your self-responsibility:

* Stop judging yourself and others.

* Stop becoming the victim of other people’s actions and circumstances. This is just using guilt as an excuse.

* Learn how to assess your own strengths and weaknesses, and then decide what kind of adjustments you want to make to your life. This is only effective, if you…

* Take action! Once you have identified what you need to do, start doing something about it.

Real self-esteem produces an appreciation for what is true about yourself. If you are continually worried, guilty, judgmental or self-absorbed, you are just running away from life and not taking responsibility for it.

Your self-esteem and confidence will plummet and you get trapped in a negative cycle of self-doubt and blaming other people.

As you gather more reasons to complain about life, you will continue on a downward trend.

Real progress can only be achieved when you admit to yourself that “only I can transform myself from a victim of circumstances into a rational, choice-making, action-oriented person, and start to take charge of my life”.

Personal responsibility is not about being perfect, which is in fact a burden. Personal responsibility is the only way to create the freedom you seek and the life you want.

It is important to become the “managing director” of your own life. If you feel you are ready but something inside is blocking you from moving forward, you may need some help.

There is no shame in asking for help. In fact, it could be one of the most responsible actions you take to have the life you wish.